Angel's Amazing Time Traveling Adventures
by hippy.intellect
Summary: Angel discovers a magical time machine wig and has some fun with it.


This idea first came to me when I realized Thelma and Louise was released in 1991 and the movie takes place in 1989. So the only excuse for Angel knowing about it and referring to its ending in Today 4 U, is that she has a time machine! And Mark, Roger and Collins were just too distracted by pretty dancing drag queen to notice. The first paragraph was written by my friend silverydarkness to help me get started. I don't own Rent or Thelma and Louise.

Angel's Time Traveling Adventures

Chapter One:

Like Thelma and Louise Did

Hello. My name is Angel and I like to time-travel. Why? Because I feel like it. Now stop asking stupid questions and listen to my awesome stories of time-travel. That's right. Time-travel. And while you're calming yourself, wipe that snot that's hanging from your left nostril. Very good.

I guess I should begin by telling you how my adventures begun. Well, it was a very hot, very boring Sunday afternoon. My bestest friend Mimi and I were standing outside the movie theater.

'Can we _please _see the Little Mermaid, _please_?´ begged Mimi.

'Mimi, honey,' I answered. 'You've already seen the Little Mermaid five times. Twice with me. Not counting the two times you saw it in Spanish and the other time you saw it in French. Let's see something new.'

Mimi puffed, but relented. 'Fine, what do you want to see?'

I looked at the various posters along the walls and I was shocked to discover I had seen them all. Every last one of them. I groaned in frustration. 'There are no new ones!'

'Aw, how horrible,' Mimi said perkily. 'We'll just have to settle for the Little Mermaid.' I grabbed her before she made it to the ticket booth.

_'No Little Mermaid!' _I yelled. Taking a breath to calm myself, I continued. 'There are other things we can do besides see a movie.'

'You mean like reenacting our favourite scenes from the Little Mermaid? I'll be Ariel!'

'No! I mean like…' I struggled to find another activity. 'Shopping?'

Mimi considered this, the consented. 'I think I saw a store in fifty-second street with this cute little Flounder purse.'

So with the money we had intended to waste on tickets, vastly overpriced, mucho-giant Diet Cokes and bags of popcorn, we hit the mall (after walking all the way to fifty-second street to get Mimi's Flounder purse). We eventually reached a little boutique where I bought a short bright purple wig.

Now, I know what you're thinking. You're thinking, why is this crazy transvestite telling us about her shopping purchases and mermaid-obsessed friend when she promised us mind-boggling tales of time travel? But I promise you, it all fits in! Well, maybe not Mimi's mermaid obsession… I just wanted you all to know how annoying she can be. But the wig is important!

Late that afternoon, when I got home, I laid out my new stuff and decided to try it all on. I seated myself at my bureau and adjusted my new wig on my head.

That's when everything went purple.

When I awoke, it was not in the chair where I had been, or even my apartment floor. It was on a sidewalk with something poking at my stomach. I looked up and saw the thing poking me was a shoe. A shoe attached to the miniscule foot of a miniscule leg, belonging to a miniscule person who was in fact _not _a miniscule little person but an perfectly normal-sized child of about five or so.

'You okay?' he asked me. I nodded (after all, I wasn't hurt, just very, very, very, very confused) and the kid walked away. I got up and realized I was in front of the very theater I had left a few hours ago. With one crucial difference. All the posters had changed. I couldn't spot the Little Mermaid, nor could I find Look Whose Talking or Batman. Instead there was Terminator 2, Father of the Bride and Thelma and Louise, movies I had never heard of. What was up with this? It wasn't even Friday!

I decided to ask the woman at the ticket booth what happened to all the old movies. After all, Mimi would be so upset when she found the Little Mermaid was gone, she should at least know why.

'Excuse me,' I said. 'Could you please tell me why all the posters have changed?'

The woman looked up, confused. 'What do you mean?'

'The posters!' I repeated. 'They changed. What happened to the other ones?'

'Listen,' she sounded agitated. 'I don't have time for this, I'm a very busy person.' She gestured to the magazine she was reading, on which I saw an article called 'What Your Favourite Kind of Cheese Says About You.' 'Are you going to buy a ticket?'

'I just want to know-'

'Are you?'

'Can you please tell me-'

'If you're not going to buy a ticket, you have to leave.'

'Fine!' I exclaimed, figuring I could ask someone inside. 'I guess I'll see…' I looked around the poster-plastered walls. 'Thelma and Louise. God, the things I do for movies.'

After paying for my ticket and sitting down in the theater, I was just about to turn to the person next to me to ask if he knew anything about the mysteriously changing posters, when the lights dimmed. Scowling, but never one to talk during a movie, I settled back to watch the film.

By the time the movie had finished though, thoughts of movie changes were wiped out of my mind like evolution wiped out the dinosaurs. Or was it asteroids? I don't know. All I know is that I had struck up a conversation with two twelve-year-old girls about the awesomeness this awesome movie contained. It was awesome.

'And the way they blew up the guy's truck…' one said in awe.

'He so deserved it!' I told her.

'The rasta dude was so cool!' the other added.

'And what an awesome ending!' we chorused.

After one of their moms came to pick them up (they were ushered away fairly quickly when she saw me), I wandered out of the theater and into the street, wondering about the mystical transportation of me to the theater and the quick changing of the movies. Being in no rush home and having no place to go, I sat down at a bench. I glanced at the newspaper dispenser thingy in front of it for a second… then glanced back. _That can't be right, _I thought. I got up to get a closer look. But it hadn't been a trick of the light. The date on the paper clearly read 1991.

I straightened up and turned to a man that was walking next to me. 'Sir, what year is it?' I demanded.

'What?"

'What _year _is it?'

'Uh… 1991' he mumbled, quickly walking away. How rude! Like he's never seen a transvestite ask the year before.

While huffing at the man, I didn't notice a skateboarder coming my way and sure enough he crashed into me. I fell to the ground and my wig flew off. He didn't even stop.

_The people around here! _I thought indignantly as I placed the wig back on my head.

That's when everything went purple… again.

When I awoke, I was at my bureau in my own apartment again. I looked in amazement at my reflection. It was the wig! The wig had taken me to 1991 and back!

I told you it was mind-boggling. With this wig, I had many other adventures, but I'm too lazy to tell you now. Until next time, I leave you with this advice.

Get some Kleenex.


End file.
